The foolproof guide to improving your coaching skills

Think of the best conversation you’ve ever had with a mentor or manager. That one conversation where you came out feeling motivated, inspired and ready to take on the world.

Chances are, it didn’t feel like a lecture. It most likely felt like a coaching conversation, where they shared their guidance and experiences. This is the sign of someone with great coaching skills – one of the most in-demand soft skills not just for managers, but increasingly, for everyone.

So, what is coaching, and why are coaching skills so important in the workplace today?

What is coaching?

Coaching is a collaborative process that helps people unlock their potential, build confidence and develop new skills through guided reflection and conversation. 

Coaching isn’t about telling someone what to do or solving the problems for them – it’s about asking thoughtful questions, active listening and encouraging people to work out the answers for themselves. 

A good coach creates space for growth by supporting self-awareness, exploring challenges together and building accountability. Coaching is a great way to strengthen relationships, boost performance and build a culture of continuous learning, and it’s a must-have skill for anyone who wants to help colleagues think differently and achieve their goals, whether they’re in a leadership role or not.

Why coaching matters (even if you’re not a manager)

Traditionally, coaching is a skill associated with managers and business leaders… but it’s time for that to change.

There will always be times when one colleague knows more than another, and they’ll need to share their guidance or experience to help someone else complete a task or achieve a goal. For instance, you may have that one exceptionally diplomatic, emotionally intelligent colleague who knows exactly how to navigate difficult conversations. They may not be your manager, but when you need advice for tackling a tricky discussion, they’re the person you turn to – so it pays for them to be good at coaching.

Strong coaching skills are useful for:

• Managers and leaders, as it helps them build more engaged, skilled teams with better performance outcomes
• Colleagues and peers, as it supports collaboration, knowledge sharing and creating a thriving learning culture
• Individual contributors, as it allows them to develop empathy, listening and communication skills

The modern workplace is increasingly moving towards a flatter structure with less hierarchy, meaning that coaching skills are even less tied to management roles alone, and are becoming essential skills for everyone.

What are the signs of a good coach?

The signs of a good coach can be broken down into two categories: verbal signs and non-verbal behaviours.

The behaviours that demonstrate good coaching skills include:

• Active listening (not interrupting, nodding, reacting to ideas)
• Asking open-ended questions (not just giving immediate solutions)
• Encouraging reflection and self-discovery
• Offering feedback in a constructive, supportive way
• Open body language (no crossed arms, leaning in, a relaxed demeanour)

The verbal signs and phrases you’ll hear from a good coach include:

• “What options do you see here?” (instead of “I think you should…”)
• “What challenges do you anticipate, and how might you handle them?” (instead of “That won’t work, because…”)
• “What will you try next if that doesn’t work?” (instead of “As a plan B, you should…”)
• “Tell me more about how you reached that decision?” (instead of “That’s not how I would’ve done it!”)
• “How do you feel about that approach?”

You’ll notice here that coaching isn’t about giving someone all the answers. A huge part of the coaching process involves getting someone to think critically about their decisions and giving them the confidence and clarity to act decisively. It’s also not about avoiding mistakes – instead, it provides a safe space to talk through challenges and explore lessons learned for next time.

5 ways to improve your coaching skills

Improving your coaching skills is a marathon, not a sprint. It's not a case of parroting a few key phrases and suddenly becoming the go-to coach in your business. Instead, it's a soft skill that takes practise. 

If you're looking to improve your coaching skills, here are 5 key tips to try:

• Practice curiosity
  Approach conversations with a learner's  mindset. We're all learners, no matter where we are in our careers, and maintaining a curious mindset and asking questions is vital. Being able to pre-empt the questions learners will likely ask allows us to be better prepared, and to provide more genuinely useful coaching interactions on the fly.
• Slow down advice-giving
  One of the biggest mistakes people make when they're starting out with coaching is the compulsion to jump in and solve everything. But resist! Your job as a coach isn't to have all the answers – it's to guide others to figure it out for themselves. Of course, if someone is really stuck, feel free to make suggestions, but in the first instance, encourage the person you're coaching to explore how they would approach the situation.
• Build trust
  Cultivating a healthy learning culture is crucial to a good coaching experience. Without trust or a sense of psychological safety, the coaching experience will fail, as the other person will worry that they'll be judged if they suggest a 'silly idea'. A good way to build trust is to 'fail first' – perhaps by sharing stories about times you got it wrong yourself. It's also important to clarify up front that there are no wrong answers, and that coaching provides a safe environment to explore all sorts of weird and wonderful solutions.
• Reflect on your language
  Not all of us are natural coaches, and that's OK! Keep note of the  coaching phrases you use (or don’t use). It might not be easy to do this in the moment, but the right technology can help you keep track of the phrases you're using as part of your coaching journey. Armed with the evidence, you can then analyse how frequently you're using 'coaching language', how it manifests in conversations and how effective it is based on the outcome of your coaching.
• Seek feedback
  Ask colleagues how they feel after a coaching-style conversation with you. Of course, not everyone will be completely honest, but speaking to a trusted colleague will help you get useful data from a real person. If both parties feel comfortable with it, you could also record the conversation (for instance, on Zoom) and share this with a skilled, experience coach for analysis and feedback.

With an AI skills intelligence tool like Helix (more on that next!), you can monitor and track your coaching skills in real time. As you put your new skills into practice, you can watch yourself improve based on real data.

How AI can help you improve your coaching skills

As promised, let's talk about Helix, our new AI skills intelligence platform!

With Helix, you can track key soft skills (including coaching, coachability and active listening) and measure them as they develop over time. It works by picking up on key 'coaching phrases', such as 'Where would you start?', 'Walk me through your thinking' and 'Let's set some milestones', as well as 'negative coaching phrases' which suggest a lack of coaching skills, such as 'Copy how I do it', 'You're on your own with this one' or 'Just trust me on this one', then analysing them according to our proprietary 3Q Engine.

Once Helix has analysed the raw information (i.e. transcripts from your virtual meetings), it will give you a score for your coaching skills. It will then monitor these skills over time, allowing you to see if you're improving with concrete examples of how you're demonstrating your skills.

Coaching is an especially important soft skill for management roles, so the ability to watch your coaching skills improve over time, with clear evidence, is great for career progression if you're looking to move into a management position or increase your responsibilities at work.

Helix will also suggest learning content and practice opportunities, such as engaging in roleplay with our AI tutor VeeCoach, ensuring you carry on developing over time with personalised learning interventions and activities. Knowledge is power, and Helix gives you all the insights and tools you need to become a more confident, competent coach!